Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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