Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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