Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
my poor anus
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
