we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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