it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
