If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
