whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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