I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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