that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
