I wannas sexs uuuuu
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you win again, gameday.
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You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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