would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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