i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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