that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
