woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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