I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
