How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
