the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.