planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Ladies don't puke and tell