I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand