Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"