saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...