Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
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I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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