Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
