Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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