I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
