Reggie can tackle my bush.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm at about main and main street
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I know her cup size but not her name....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
