where am i from again
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
