I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
