That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I faked an abortion last night.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
