I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
