U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
