I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
third nipple confirmed
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
