Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
