we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
