I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
