i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
