i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
