he shaved USA in his pubs
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
