the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
