We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
