love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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