I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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