never play flip cup with pint glasses
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the day after is always just damage control
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
