your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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