bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
