were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
