I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
