What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
