is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
