You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Don't EVER smell your tampon
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
