Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Randomize
