Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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