Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I woke up under a house in Key West
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