is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
