We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
