Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
