you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
