she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
