can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
