Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Do vagina's smell?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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