Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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